Well, Lambing should begin any minute now. Two of them are ready, and Agnes and Cecilia were on day 145 on the 7th and 8th. So I don’t know what the heck they are waiting for, but no lambs yet. I wanted to sort of document the situation so I could read it over next year again like I did last year. Maybe I’ll feel more lucky next year, or worse off. I don’t know, it’s been a rough day.
I checked them about every hour today. It amazes me how they can look like they MUST be in labor. Cecilia actually had breathing spells of fast panting sort of breathing at regular intervals. On top of that, they both are really flushed and pink in the rear end, and swollen. PLUS they have been oozing goo. They have so many signs and yet, nothing is happening. Really by all the signs, they should be doing something, but apparently they are just pretending to lamb.
Allena 0, Sheep 1
On top of that, I had a huge scare and a huge agravation from the sheep today.
First of all Ashlin started acting really weird, and I was thinking she had some weird neurological disorder or something. She would race around in circles around the other sheep, then stop with her head down. Then Brietta started doing it too, “Oh no she has it too, the whole flock is going to come down with brain flu and flop over dead any second.” was what I was thinking in my panic. I mean this was REALLY weird behavior.
Could she be lambing early? That would account for her behavior, maybe she’s trying to run away from what hurts. No, because Brietta wouldn’t be in early labor too. Neither of them is due until after March 31. I run inside to put a frantic email to my sheep expert Tammy. Tammy, my friend and helper of calming obsessive lambing worries and those of sheep frantically running in circles…
Which brings me to my next sheep irritation moment. I was trying to find a good place to put the chicken food where the sheep can’t get it, because I want to keep the sheep close where I can watch for lambs. My parents have a little travel trailer here and there is only about 18 inches of clearance. I thought the sheep wouldn’t fit in there. ahem, I THOUGHT the little shi…I mean sheepies wouldn’t fit under there! I was wrong.
So Brietta is kneeling down with her front half squished under the trailer snarfing down scratch grain and soybeans and I notice a big thorny stick STUCK to her butt. AHA!!! That’s why they were running in circles!!! They move and feel the stick stuck to them, get scared and try to run away from it. It’s almost funny, except that I thought I was going to loose thousands of dollars of sheep and lambs. Anyway, so I go to “catch” her and pull the stick off her butt and she doesn’t even flinch. huh?
She just stays put and chows on chicken food while I pull the thorny stick off. Finally I DRAG her out and then she moves away, but only after I push the bowl into the middle of the trailer. arg.
Allena 0, Sheep 2.
It gets more annoying. So now at least I am not thinking the whole flock is going to die, and am feeling a little better. I go do something and come back in a few minutes to see two infuriating sheep crammed under the trailer completely, where I really thought there was no way they could get at the chicken feed.
Allena 0, Sheep 3
Mist and Maria are munching chicken feed like there’s no tommorrow. Mist, sweet little liar, no good, two faced, little faker!!! Who acts like I’m going to eat her all the TIME. Scared to DEATH of me, and skittish as all get out lately. I can’t even get within 10 feet of her to offer a cookie. grrrr I’m getting worked up just thinking about it. She’s crammed under the trailer. I don’t know how they fit under there. It reminds me of when one of our cats crammed itself under the fridge. We had to tilt the fridge to get it out.
Allena 0, Cat 1 - Just for the record.
Anyhow, so I poke them both with the broom, expecting them to fall into frantic hysterics of fright.
Nothing. No response.
I poke harder, no response, the sounds of chicken feed going down greedy gullets continues.
I whap them with the broom, and NO RESPONSE!
I get on all fours and have MY rear stuck up in the air and start whapping them with the broom and grabbing and dragging them out. I can see on their smug little faces how ridiculous I look and they all start laughing at me behind my butt…uh I mean back.
Allena 0, Sheep 4!
NOW all of the sudden the two little snots decide they are just scared to death and AAAHHHHH she’s going to eat us now in a pie, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!. WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!
They finally exit the space where they were squished under the trailer. Of course, all the chicken feed was gone…
Allena 0, Sheep 5!
I honestly can’t tell you how they got out, they were so crammed in there, that they looked like they were swimming. Back legs out straight behind them, front legs scrabbling to drag their rotten little selves out from under there in a frantic frenzy of fear and panic. FAKERS! I will say the sprays of gravel in my face was impressive. I’ve seen few teenage boys in sports cars that can throw gravel like that… Luckily I shielded my eyes with the dust pan.
So, now I start backing out from under there, where I was crammed with MY rear poking up, (and I would just like to note, that I was very happy to not have a thorny stick stuck on my butt at least)
Allena 0, Sheep 6
I love my sheep, most of the time. It reminds me of the line in the Sound of Music. “She’s a wonderful girl, some of the time… It’s easy to love Maria, except when it’s um difficult.” That sums it up.
Finally, this evening, thinking that I really needed to get the stick off of Ashlin’s butt, we were putting them up for the night, but Mist and Ashlin decided they weren’t going in.
Fine. No dinner.
Allena 1, sheep 7
At least I didn’t get skunked…
But it was a near thing.
And people say sheep are stupid.
4 Responses to “Lambing is Upon Us, Soon…”
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I rarely laugh out loud while reading something, but you got me going good this morning! First, the mental image of a cat stuck under a refrigerator, then of two sheep almost stuck under a trailer, along with a noticeably pregnant you (you didn’t mention that part, but it was in my mental image just the same). I’ll bet they “panicked” AFTER they finished the food and there was no good reason to stay! Ha ha ha ha ha…!
I’ve heard stories from my friend Kelly about a sheep’s abilities to squeeze into tiny places, and this story was hysterical! Sorry that you’re losing to the sheep, but at least you can have fun with it after the fact. Here’s hoping for healthy, happy, and less devious little lambs!
My co-workers are wondering why I am giggling at my computer. You are a wonderful writer, I could just see it all happening.
Ok,
That was EASILY one of the funniest posts you have ever written!
I LMAO’d!
MO’B